The dreams

For the past week and a half i have been exoerienceing an episode of 'excessive dreaming'. Usually i have a dream maybe once a month, probably a lot less. It is usually really suprising to me when i dream. I'm like "what the heck was that?". But these days i have one every night, i mean EVERY night. Not even the wierd incoherent dreams where you are doing one thing then something else and its just a wierd jumble of images and situations. These are epic dreams like a movie or a novel. I mean, they still dont make sense, but everything happens in sequence.

You wouldnt think this is a problem. Who complains about dreaming? But i wake up in the middle of the night from these dreams and in the morning i dont feel refreshed at all. If i hit the snooze button i just get 10 more minutes of the same dream. its really annoying. Even if i nap during the day. Every time i fall asleep i am dreaming.

I went online and did a bit of research. I thought you dream in REM sleep which is suppose dto be the deepest most restful sleep you can get. The time you spend dreaming is a phase of deep sleep, but it is a less restful stage when you brain is more active than usual. I read all kinds of theories. I read about chinese herbs and accupuncture. I also read about this intense counseling where they think that dreaming comes from not resolving issues when you are awake, so they try to help you calm you rmind and not leav things undone. I read about knock-out drugs and other things that are supposed to give you restfull dreamless sleep. So i decided the chinese herbs were my favorite solution because they were organic and all natural and proven by millennia of ancient wisdom. I picked the most promising drug and read on..

It turns out that this particular herb has a delicate dose scale. Too little or too much can cause you to have more dreams and nightmares. Yea, just what i need. So i scratched that, and since none of the other remidies appealed to me i called my mom.

So my mom says that i should try exercising before bed and try to think of things that may be tressing me out and work on resolving them. I still don't think i am stressed out. So i gave teh exercise a shot. And that didnt work either. I wake up this morning from a dream where i was on a boat with a lot of people i idnt like and noone was notigcing me and i was dressed like i was going to the prom and everyone else was dressed for the gym. I didnt hit snooze.

The Bra Issue

I hate bras. They are itchy and uncomfortable. I have about 30 bras. and at around $15 a pop thats a total of $450 spent on something i hate.

Yesterday i came back from class and it was hot, i mean HOT. I wore jeans and a tee shirt to class. So i strip down and put on some shorts and a tank top and i feel sooooo much better. You could see the red marks where my bra had been and i wondered why i wore it at all. Really: why? I am not endowed enought to need the support, nor am i small enough to need the padding (well, at least in my opinion). Its not cold enough to need the extra layer, so what was i wearing it for. You couldnt see through my shirt, the bra wasnt for protection. I decided i must be wearing it because somewhere down the line i was made to feel like i was supposed to wear it. And anyone who knows me knows that "supposed to" is not a good reason for me to do anything.

So i decided right then and there to end the cycle of oppression. None of the women in Sex and the City every wear bras (well, except charolette, i think) and neither will i! I felt free. I put my jeans back on and headed out to buy makeup and more tank tops (which i shouldnt be doing anyways cus i am dead broke). I got a little too carried away at first and headed ont in some high-heeled sandals. Two blocks later i realized that was a bad idea and went and changed into flats. Then i headed out and wasted my money on various items and returned feeling empowered. I began to spread my message to the women around me: 'bras are for suckers'! and it was all good and well until:

So i decided to go to the gym. A bunch of people i knew were there and i could use the exercise. Besides i hadnt been sleeping well (which i am gonna write about right after this) so i decided i should try exercising before bed (which didnt even help). But, alas, i could not go to the gym braless and me and my friend had already decided that wearing those tops with built-in bras would be cheating. Everyone knows that when you cheat, you only cheat yourself. I thought about the reasons i felt the need to wear a bra to the gym and even though there really were none (i dont run) i still couldnt bring myself to do it. so in the end i cheated and wore the tank top with the bra built in. I decided i would be cheating myself more if i never went to the gym again because i didnt want to wear bras, which almost makes sense.

But, for the rest of the summer, unless i am at the gym or you can see through my shirt, i am sticking to my pledge. Down with the lacey opression!

Cloudy Days and Failure

To begin, i am dissappointed in myself for not posting these past couple of days. Me and my BF have been arguing almost constantly so i really havent been thinking about my blog. Anyway, today is aweful. Its cloudy and overcast and i tend to be really badly affected by the weather. Sunny days i am fine, but cloudy days make me really tired and depressed. I went to bed early but i still wasnt able to get up for my 9 oclock class. I was running late to me 11oclock when i realized that i left my bike lock key at home. So i came back here and jsut gave up. If i went back now i would be a half hour late to a 2 hour class. Besides, i hate that class! So i am 0 for 2 today with my extremely expensive education and thats just making me feel worse.
 
Yesterday was interesting. Me and my BF got up, ran an errand for my friend, then went to my house 45 min away. My parents missed me because i hadn't stopped by in over 3 weeks. When we are at home, my BF and i uually play boardgames with my parents and get dessert froma  jewish deli around the corner, and we did all that. My mom made a really nice chicken dinner and my grandmother came over and it was just great! Since we were in the area and i needed groceries, i asked chris to take me tot eh grocery store around the corner from my house. Its a smaller market that carries my favorite lunchmeat so i was really phyched to go. We went and i got everything i wanted (and spent way too much as usual) and we headed off. Chris wanted to see "I, Robot" so we were gonna check it out at a theatre in the area before coming back to philly, but i had bought frozen foods and milk and eggs and i did not want them to spoil so we ended up coming back here. We watched the olympic trials together for a while then went to the 9:30 showing around the corner. As we are buying tickets teh theater announces that the theater we are going to see the movie in is really really cold. Its a good thing my bf was sneaking candy in to the movie or he wouldnt have had his jacket!
 
I, Robot was good. For anyone who hasnt seen it yet, its VIKI. There, i ruined the ending! I know so far my blog is totally boring, but funny stuff happens to me, i swear, just not recently. So its bound to pick up at some point. Till then.....

To Begin

Like i said above, the title of my blog comes from a poem so i think its only right that i post the text of the poem first. I didnt choose this poem because it has any special meaning to me. It has a cool title and its from a poet i really like so i guess thats good enough
 
"I Know My Heart Has Lied Before"
 
I know my heart has lied before
but now it speaks with honesty
as an invisible bond of friendship
that was formed in secrecy
Coming from me this may seem hard
but 2 GOD i swear it's truth
We R friends for eternity
and Forever I will always love u
 
I suppose i am creating this blog to practice writing so it may just be some random things, but i will be posting every day. Briefly about me: i am a Biomedical Engineering major at Drexel University graduating in 2006. My favorite resturant is Jone's (for anyone that lives around philly, its great!) my favorite book is Toni Morrison's "The Bluest Eye" My favorite album is a tie between Mos Def "Black on Both Sides" and Buju Banton "Til Shiloh". I have my nose pierced and three tatoos (more piercings and tatoos to come when i get the $). I am a cat person, dogs smell.
 
So thats it in a nutshell, anything else you can possibly want or not want to know about me i will probably talk about later.
 
Ciao