Ok.. so i wear this necklace, its a silver chain with a heart (not a Beta) pendant. And i usually wear this ring around it (the ring sort of covers the heart). It wear them together as a reminder: that i am not ready for a committment, that i need to guard my heart, that i dont want to get emotionally involved with someone romantically. I wear it as a reminder to protect my feelings and generally just keep my distance. It does a good job, you can catch me holding it and thinking deeply on a regular basis. Im not bitter, i dont hate men or relationships. I just know that i dont want to be hurt and i dont want to be so intensely involved with someone that my emotions and my happiness are at stake. I learned the hard way that i am not ready for relationships like that.
Anyhow, this post is about something wierd that happened to me over the course of the past three weeks. Out of respect for the other party involved, i am going to keep things just a little vague.
So i met this guy at a bar and we really hit it off. Hes sweet and interesting. Hes gentle and patient and hes really cute! Three days later, i lost the ring that i wear on my necklace as a reminder, and that day he told me that he really cared about me and hoped that we could be a part of each others' lives for a long time. I got a little worried. I believe in fate and i believe in signs. I couldnt help but feel that somehow my losing this ring on this day was not a meaningless coincidence. But i put it out of my mind for the time being.
Things went on for anothe three weeks and i felt like our relationship was moving too fast. He wanted a girlfriend, and the thought of having a boyfriend right now almost litterally makes me want to vomit. He felt like he cared abotu me more than i cared about him and from his point of view, he felt almost like i was using him.
So today i decided to try to put a little distance between us. I really like him and i think he is an absolutely wonderful person, but i dont want emotional attachment and i dont want to lead him on. So i basically broke it off, we decided to take a step back and reevaluate how we feel. It was all extremely mature.
But the crazy thing is, i mean the CRAZY thing: i went out after we had this discussion, i just came back into my apartment like 10 minutes ago, and the first thing that happens, I FIND THE FREAKNIG RING!!! how freaky is that. It made me feel like i had made the correct decision in not letting myself get swept away into something that probably would not have been healthy for me at this point in my life. I found the ring and i just couldnt believe it. I know this is no coincidence.
SO anyway, thats my wierd little story. I guess the point is to be open minded to the seemingly benign things that occur every day. I always believed in signs, but you just cant expect a burning bush to talk to you on like 22nd and locust. You have to be looking out more carefully. The signs are there.
1 comment:
I knew it before you said it that you were going to find the ring! That is really cool...! I like to believe in signs and stuff, but I don't ever recall something as pronounced as your event happening to me. I also definitely understand your hesitation to commit to soon...If I were in your shoes I would have been soo excited that someone liked me that was a great guy I don't think I would have had the willpower to step back and not react with my emotions. Definitely a lesson for me.
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