Unwanted lessons

Tomorow i have an interview for a job i want desperately. I have prepared, i set out my clotes. I checked and double-checked the time and location. I even google searched the interviewer... borderline stalker tactics! Im ready!

But i think i am nervous. I honestly do not know what nervous feels like. Its not something i have experienced before. I have no trouble talking in front of people, no problem taking tests. I dont worry about much so i have never really had occasion to feel nervous before... which, up until tonight i would have called a good thing.

But now i think i am nervous. Any time someone asks me about the big interview, i feel queasy... and i am not feeling tired even thought i got up at 10 (really early for me) this morning. If i had felt this sensation before, i would know how to handle it, but i am at a loss. And i dont want to admit to anyone close to me that i am feeling nervous, even if they could offer some advice. I was proud of my never having felt this way... and now i dont have that claim to fame.

So far this year i have had another experience like this, but it is anothe story. I learned in May what 'anxiety' is. That was disturbing. Another sensation i had never experienced that came on at a really horrible time. But thats another entry folks.

If you read this, do me a favor and dont mention the interview. If it went exceptionally well, i will let you know, i promise.