This guy asked me once what a woman wants. like, in relationships what is the goal, besides love and marriage or sex or whatever. So i told him, honestly, i think most women just want what they want. No questions asked, no explinations given. We want the thing that is in our head to happen the way our minds eye sees it and we dont want to have to explain it to anyone either. And thats the truth. But i am changing
For health reasons i really need to start avoding stress. I hate doctors so i am counseling myself and this is the beginning for me. Before i wanted things to go how i wanted them to go. If something wasnt right to me i would react until something happened to make me feel better (i.e. an apology). I am trying to explain this well, but it may not be coming out. I am saying that if i expected my night to go a certain way: class, grab a bite to eat, watch TV till my BF comes over, chill with him for an hour and a half, do some homework. And my BF would show up to late or leave to early, it would make me mad at him for messing up my potentially perfect night. That is a bad example cus i would probably not get angry over something that simple, but that is the type of thing i am talking about.
I used to feel like if i didnt react to things that didnt go my way, it would seem like i am okay with things not going my way and then nothing would go my way and my life would suck. I am learning though. Now i make clear what i want and expect before anything happens. I only react when i think someone is not treating me well on purpose. Like if in the scenario above, my BF knew he was gonna be late and didnt bother to let me know. I am not a generally understanding person and i dont intend on changing my personality. But, if he was 10 minutes late and his cell phone was dead and it would have taken him longer to get to a pay phone than to get here, i guess thats different. And it still wont be OK, but i wont let it stress me.
What seems like a small change is a whole world of difference to me. I'll tell you how its coming along.
1 comment:
you know what I was gonna write but I stopped myself.
Keep a journal to keep track of your progress.
this really can't be considered a journal tho because we know other people read it. So keep a notepad or something to take notes in or something about your progress.
Post a Comment