I love my Mom and Dad. but i didnt always feel the way i do now. We are all in college and we have all gone through the same thing. You are so happy to leave home and to be free. Recently i have been thinking of things from my parents perspective. I have been thinking a lot about parenthood. Noone worry, i dont plan on becoming a parent any time before college ends, or before i am married, but i am 20 and i am a woman and i cant help thinking what it is like.
When you have a child you basically have to change and make your whole entire life about this one little being. When you eat and sleep and leave and stay are all decided by the needs of your kids. Where your money goes and doesnt go is about them too. Your priorities become completely rearranged and its gotta suck. I mean SUCK.
I love myself. I like to do what i want to do and what i think is best for me. I like to eat what i want to eat and go where i want to go and sleep when i want to sleep because i love me and i want to make me happy. There is no room in my life for a little person to be dictating what i do. I cannot imagine what it takes to be a parent, to completely deny yourself and turn all that love out on another person, the little thing you created (or adopted, which is also a beautiful thing).
So these days i really appreciate my parents. For the past 20 years they have turned their lives into the 24-hr Morgan network: all morgan, all the time. I love them for that and at the same time i feel bad that i have left them. Once again the purpose in thier life has had to shift. First from themselves to me and now from me to whatever is next for them (probably still me). I feel like they deserve to get the chance to fall back in love with themselves, but after devoting so much of their lives to me it has to be painful to see me just walk away. So i am not walking with my back turned...
I am spending time showing my parents that i love them and that i appreciate all they did for me. When they call i answer the phone and when they want to see me i oblige. Every time we talk i try to remember to tell them that i love them and i never leave their presence without a hug. I am who i am today thanks to them and i never want them to have to wonder whether or not i know what a great job they did raising me. They have given me everything i ever needed and i am so greatful and blessed to have parents like them.
2 comments:
Hey you're so right about people haveing children and their lives drrastically changing. That is my whole reasoning behind why young people such as ourselves and teens should not have kids because right now ourlives are about us. We are in our "me" and "selfish" stage. When you have kids you can't be selfish anymore and if you are its the kid that suffers. Nothing wrong with the "me" stage, just that once you mature, then you can have kids. I really dislike seeing young parents because many times the child is neglected because the parents are still sooooo selfish.
Every so often I thank God for my parents for providing my needs. Although, I never thought about the whole shifting your life for one person long enough to really sink in but after reading your blog, I realize that my parents pretty much sacrificed a lot of things for me. I guess I see why parents have the empty nest syndrome after a child leaves because after they have given so much of themselves they probably think, "and you are going to just leave me now?" It kinda makes me feel bad after reading that because I will leave my parents and probably live far away...but does that make me a bad daughter...?
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