i have become a true advocate of spending time alone. because of the shortage of loot, absence of a significant other, and a serious committment to getting to know myself as well as possible before this whole college thing comes to an end, i decided a couple months ago that i would spend at least one weekend night each week at home, by myself. i think a lot in this time; usually do a lot of sleeping and cleaning and reading.
I was thinking about peoples roles in each other's lives, and those lives in general. I have concluded that a big part of a lot of things we do has to do with measuring up our lives. We want a some sort of standard for comparison. We want someone else's perspective. When i spend these nights alone, committed to a certain degree of isolation, like i said i think a lot, and after all that thinking, i usually get a strong urge to call someone. I want to run these ideas past another person, but that is not what introspection is all about. I think that we crave this contact to sort of check up on how we are doing. I believe that a lot of things, outside conversation, cater to this need. Take television for example. There are a million dramas, comedies, and sitcoms to choose from. Each depicting someone's 'normal' everyday life. Why would this entertain us? Sometimes it is funny, sometimes its emotional or suspenseful, but mostly its a grounds for comparison. We can measure up our relationship troubles against someone on television and see within a half hour how they handled the situation. We can be warned of the negative consequences of certain behaviors before we had even decided to do them. We can see a dozen examples of situations we face in our own lives, played out on television, with a dozen different outcomes, in the span of a single night.
this is probably why i prefer to watch cartoons. but, nonetheless, i have always been a person who shunned standards. i dont measure myself by anyone else's standards but my own. If i am happy and i feel good in my heart, then i am doing fine, no matter what anyone else has to say. And i guess this is why i am advocating spending time alone. Even with all the effort i put into being my own person, it is hard to break the habit of wanting someone else to evaluate my life. Alone time allows you to build these personal standards, to decide what sort of person you want to be. Then it gives you the time to actually work towards that goal. I think that if you fill all your time with other people, you will find yourself always comparing, always evaluating, but never really making any progress.
So, i suppose all that is to say, even though its hard, its probably a good idea to committ some time for yourself, to avoid those things that can compell you to measure your life against something else, and to really think and evaluate your life based on you.
And if you cant handle it, watch TV (alone).
That has been my personal piece advocating my personal cause. and, before anyone says it, i realize that my blog is catering to my need to be evaluated by others. i said a degree of isolation, not a night of hermitage!
19 November 2005
05 November 2005
tests
i was thinking (rare occurrence, i know) just about life and stuff. i actually think a lot about life when i watch anime. i guess i am letting on about how big a nerd i actually am on the inside. so anyhow, i was thinking about how life tests you.
a lot of people feel that they are being tested when things go wrong in their lives. We tackle the challenge of rising above our problems and learning from and adapting to the situation. Its all very human. We look deep inside ourselves for the answers. was it something i did? how can i make sure this never happens again? what is the best way for me to react? what lessons can i apply to my everyday life? how does this affect my principles? Being tested is an important part of life and the way you deal with these tests is what separates an adult from a child, girl from woman, boy from man. holding on to the lessons you gain from these tests is what growing up is all about. But we arent just tested when things get hard.
i think that a finer, more subtle test in life is when things are going well. how do you handle yourself when it feels like you'ge got 'the world on a string'? Those periods in life when things just seem to fall into place are another sort of test. a test of character, a test of resolve. Because it is so easy to put away those important things you learned when things were going bad. The changes you promised yourself you would make, the lessons you said you would never forget. How quickly they all escape our minds when things are looking up. Its so easy to become full of yourself, as if your good fortune is under your control. Or to feel like these good things are things that are owed to you. To just get a general sense of cockiness.
When it feels like everything is being handed to you on a platter, and stuff just starts to fall into place, that is the real test. Thats what really separates the adults from the children. Here is the time to prove your character, not in a tearfully painful life lesson, but in those times when life is just easy.
As rare as they may be.
a lot of people feel that they are being tested when things go wrong in their lives. We tackle the challenge of rising above our problems and learning from and adapting to the situation. Its all very human. We look deep inside ourselves for the answers. was it something i did? how can i make sure this never happens again? what is the best way for me to react? what lessons can i apply to my everyday life? how does this affect my principles? Being tested is an important part of life and the way you deal with these tests is what separates an adult from a child, girl from woman, boy from man. holding on to the lessons you gain from these tests is what growing up is all about. But we arent just tested when things get hard.
i think that a finer, more subtle test in life is when things are going well. how do you handle yourself when it feels like you'ge got 'the world on a string'? Those periods in life when things just seem to fall into place are another sort of test. a test of character, a test of resolve. Because it is so easy to put away those important things you learned when things were going bad. The changes you promised yourself you would make, the lessons you said you would never forget. How quickly they all escape our minds when things are looking up. Its so easy to become full of yourself, as if your good fortune is under your control. Or to feel like these good things are things that are owed to you. To just get a general sense of cockiness.
When it feels like everything is being handed to you on a platter, and stuff just starts to fall into place, that is the real test. Thats what really separates the adults from the children. Here is the time to prove your character, not in a tearfully painful life lesson, but in those times when life is just easy.
As rare as they may be.
02 November 2005
when life hands you...
when life hands you lemons, everyone says make lemonade. But lemonade isnt really that good and its still pretty sour. And if you dont have anything else, life is gonna have to hand you sugar, and water, and a glass and a spoon before you get lemonade out of it.
I am an optimistic realist. Life hands me a lot of crap, but i dont go tryin to use it to make mixed drinks. when everything seems to be going bad, looking at those bad things for some bright side doesnt always work. My suggestion is to look at the other things in your life. if school is stressing you out, think of the fun you had at a party last weekend. If you are having family problems, take time to appreciate your friends. Looking for that speck of good in the bad just doesnt always make sense. If you look somewhere else you will definitely find that boost you need to keep going. Cus lemons will always be lemons, whether you squeeze the juice out of them and make a summertime drink, or not. But if you look hard enough somewhere else you might find some liquor, then you can make a drink to smile about.
what it all comes down to is: when life hands you sour grapes, you cant make sour wine. and when life hands you rotten eggs, all you learn is how much stink you can put up with. and when life hands you lemons, you are gonna need more than just lemons to make that stupid lemonade.
Words of wisdom (or the lack thereof) from yours truely.
I am an optimistic realist. Life hands me a lot of crap, but i dont go tryin to use it to make mixed drinks. when everything seems to be going bad, looking at those bad things for some bright side doesnt always work. My suggestion is to look at the other things in your life. if school is stressing you out, think of the fun you had at a party last weekend. If you are having family problems, take time to appreciate your friends. Looking for that speck of good in the bad just doesnt always make sense. If you look somewhere else you will definitely find that boost you need to keep going. Cus lemons will always be lemons, whether you squeeze the juice out of them and make a summertime drink, or not. But if you look hard enough somewhere else you might find some liquor, then you can make a drink to smile about.
what it all comes down to is: when life hands you sour grapes, you cant make sour wine. and when life hands you rotten eggs, all you learn is how much stink you can put up with. and when life hands you lemons, you are gonna need more than just lemons to make that stupid lemonade.
Words of wisdom (or the lack thereof) from yours truely.
01 November 2005
inspiration
Nate, this post is for you.
yesterday (or technically two days ago, now) i watched a football game. its the first time i watched a whole game on my own and i must say, i was quite dissappointed in the Eagle's performance. It seemed like they wanted to lose. The Bronco's offense straight played us. I'm not the type of girl who watches a game and starts screamin at the screen and whatnot, but i had the TV on mute (so i could do some studying) and i was still on my feet yellin at the screen when they made that last TD.
i have no further insight to offer because i am not a big football buff. i know the rules and a little something about strategy, but my major area of expertice was gained at HS games when i was in the marching band. I just wanted to say that i watched a game and got into it, even though it was a disappointing loss. I see why people get so into watching these games. Its fast-paced enough to keep your attention, but long enough to make it really dramatic and draw you into the game emotionally. I wholeheartedly recommend the experience of watching at least one whole game to everyone.
yesterday (or technically two days ago, now) i watched a football game. its the first time i watched a whole game on my own and i must say, i was quite dissappointed in the Eagle's performance. It seemed like they wanted to lose. The Bronco's offense straight played us. I'm not the type of girl who watches a game and starts screamin at the screen and whatnot, but i had the TV on mute (so i could do some studying) and i was still on my feet yellin at the screen when they made that last TD.
i have no further insight to offer because i am not a big football buff. i know the rules and a little something about strategy, but my major area of expertice was gained at HS games when i was in the marching band. I just wanted to say that i watched a game and got into it, even though it was a disappointing loss. I see why people get so into watching these games. Its fast-paced enough to keep your attention, but long enough to make it really dramatic and draw you into the game emotionally. I wholeheartedly recommend the experience of watching at least one whole game to everyone.
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