something wierd...

Ok.. so i wear this necklace, its a silver chain with a heart (not a Beta) pendant. And i usually wear this ring around it (the ring sort of covers the heart). It wear them together as a reminder: that i am not ready for a committment, that i need to guard my heart, that i dont want to get emotionally involved with someone romantically. I wear it as a reminder to protect my feelings and generally just keep my distance. It does a good job, you can catch me holding it and thinking deeply on a regular basis. Im not bitter, i dont hate men or relationships. I just know that i dont want to be hurt and i dont want to be so intensely involved with someone that my emotions and my happiness are at stake. I learned the hard way that i am not ready for relationships like that.

Anyhow, this post is about something wierd that happened to me over the course of the past three weeks. Out of respect for the other party involved, i am going to keep things just a little vague.

So i met this guy at a bar and we really hit it off. Hes sweet and interesting. Hes gentle and patient and hes really cute! Three days later, i lost the ring that i wear on my necklace as a reminder, and that day he told me that he really cared about me and hoped that we could be a part of each others' lives for a long time. I got a little worried. I believe in fate and i believe in signs. I couldnt help but feel that somehow my losing this ring on this day was not a meaningless coincidence. But i put it out of my mind for the time being.

Things went on for anothe three weeks and i felt like our relationship was moving too fast. He wanted a girlfriend, and the thought of having a boyfriend right now almost litterally makes me want to vomit. He felt like he cared abotu me more than i cared about him and from his point of view, he felt almost like i was using him.

So today i decided to try to put a little distance between us. I really like him and i think he is an absolutely wonderful person, but i dont want emotional attachment and i dont want to lead him on. So i basically broke it off, we decided to take a step back and reevaluate how we feel. It was all extremely mature.

But the crazy thing is, i mean the CRAZY thing: i went out after we had this discussion, i just came back into my apartment like 10 minutes ago, and the first thing that happens, I FIND THE FREAKNIG RING!!! how freaky is that. It made me feel like i had made the correct decision in not letting myself get swept away into something that probably would not have been healthy for me at this point in my life. I found the ring and i just couldnt believe it. I know this is no coincidence.

SO anyway, thats my wierd little story. I guess the point is to be open minded to the seemingly benign things that occur every day. I always believed in signs, but you just cant expect a burning bush to talk to you on like 22nd and locust. You have to be looking out more carefully. The signs are there.

my life...

... needs a stunt double. its become my new favorte phrase. i need someone to hang around and step in to handle all the crappy crap that i dont wanna deal with. 10-page term paper: time for a stunt double! time to go to work? nah-uh, time for a stunt double! akward situation, have the stunt double handle it. long boring conversation, stunt-double time! You can see the benefits here.

I've just been in such a good mood for so long. now that things are starting to get to me, i miss my happy little bubble. I think its dating... i was much happier when i was a militant non-dater. Anyhow, this is just a little complaint blurb. not much to say, and i am supposed to be writing that 10-page paper now anyway...

my life needs a stunt double... really. 'nuff said.

cover letter pt 2

hi, my name is Morgan and i am a very desperate woman. if you dont hire me i may have to move back home with my parents, or get a job waiting tables... either one is likely to end abruptly with suicide.

(enter your company's mission statement here) is my whole passion in my life, i live for (your company's mission statement). if it will get me the job, i will get (your company's mission statement) tattooed across my forehead! i'm a great leader if you dig that, and if you dont, i am an awesome follower as well. in my spare time i like to (enter your favorite hobby) and as far as campus activities go, i hold an exectuive position in (enter whatever organization you belonged to in college). i work well with others if thats what you want to hear, and if not, forget i mentioned it! i have innumerable skills. i will mop the freakin floors if you'll pay me 35K to do it. i am not willing to relocate, but i will drive 7 hours to work, work for 8, and drive 7 hours back to shower and change clothes then do it all over again... this may cost you another 5K. i have lots of job experience. i have 25 years of experience (i'm older than i look) as an (enter job title here) and it was my favorite job ever! being a (enter job title here) is all i have ever dreamed about. heres all three of my phone numbers, two e-mail addresses, two mailing addresses and about 24 copies of my resume (my printer ran out of paper or i would give you more). share them with your friends. i hope to hear from you soon.

chivalry?

So, i would never use the word 'chivalrous' to describe any of my male friends. most of the time i would say something more along the lines of 'bum' and 'jerk', but always 'friend'. but something happened the other day that was just so utterly refreshing, i had a new appreciation for the guys in my life.

i was on my way to drop off a job application and i ran into two of my guy friends outside a store on chestnut street, they were hangin out with some girls i didnt know. So i ran over to say 'hi' and chat for a while and as we were standing outside this kinda creepy guy yells something at me, which i ignored. then the guy yells out 'is that your girlfriend?' and, now this is the part that shocked me, both of my guy friends replied 'yea'. he screams at us 'shes cute' and they both go 'i know'.

now, this is a situation i have been in a number of times: out with a guy who i am not romantically involved with and when someone hits on me like that, i am usually left to fend for myself. that is, unless the guy is too aggressive or too creepy, or if i indicate to my male friend somehow that i want his help, or i just say that hes my BF. But, with guys that are just my friends, i have never had anyone just look out for me like that, without really thinking about it, automatically, without my asking.

these particular men have exhibited this behavior once before at a party. And it seems that all the guys in this circle of friends are all really on the same page on this issue. and it leaves me to wonder why they do this and other guys i know dont. maybe they think that women dont want to be protected, or maybe they think i might be interested in this rude stranger addressing me by some feature of my apparel. whatever it is, i didnt have a problem with it till yesterday.

like i said, it was just really refreshing, and i really appreciated it. and it was so novel to me, i thought i would write it down.