My name is Morgan (last name you are gonna mispronounce) and i am graduating in June with a degree in Biomedical Engineering and a minor in Human Factors and Ergonomics. i have a pretty good GPA but i dont like biology or biomedical engineering or anything related to it. I have worked at two of the top pharmeceutical companies in the country but dont call my bosses there because they both hated me. i learned a lot on my co-ops, specifically that i hate working and everything associated with it. i am not very motivated to work for someone else and i have problems with authority. oh, and dont ask me to take out the face piercings cus its just not gonna happen. on that same note, i have 5 tattoos and will be spending the majority of my paycheck for the first few months on a whole bunch more. i dont handle stress well, and i am not a people person. i dont care about your personal life and you just dont want to know about mine. i will only go to lunch with you if you are paying and even then i wont want to talk to you so its pretty much pointless.
i am seeking a position as a lab technician, preferrably in virology or cell culture, that pays as much as possible. i want as many days off as i can get and, let me tell you now, i will be taking every single one. i want to work alone so that i dont have to talk to any scientists. i am not interested in a career with the chance for advancement because i wont kiss enough butt to advance anyway. i refuse to work late or come in on weekends so dont ask. preferrably i will have my own office so i can nap for lunch and i need my own lab so i can avoid human contact the rest of the day as well. please only submit daily instructions to me via e-mail because i am not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination and i have trouble hiding it. i need a flexible schedule because i will be hungover at least one work day of almost every week. i have to work at a compay within 5 minutes of a bar because when you jerks inevitably get on my nerves, i will be hitting happy hour as soon as i can skip out for the day.
i can be contacted blah blah blah.... and i hope to hear from you soon.
3 comments:
wow, your a lonely one aren't you?
This post is hilarious. I feel the same way...about not wanting to do anything related to my major, and I don't handle stress well, and I am not interested in a career with the chance for advancement either. Once again...not looking forward to spending the next 40 years of my life working...ugh.
Honestly, I strongly feel you should reconsider not removing your piercings. If you really want to work at Children's Hospital, there is no way you are going to get the job with piercings. Unfortunately, most of "work" America is conservative. It shouldn't matter, but it does.
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